dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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