rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I just blew my weed a kiss
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
