okay pat passed out under dana's car
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
