areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
