i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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