I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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