im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
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