Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
love makes seman taste better
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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