Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
