another moral hangover. fuck.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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