last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
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