My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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