Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
So here I am, sexting at work.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize