Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
