I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Can Purell be used as lube?
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
