Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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