lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Do you have feelings for this penis?
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