? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
