she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
did i just pee glitter
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
