He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize