Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
someone owes me an orgasm
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
