girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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