Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
