he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
