wat bout pragnant strippers??
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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