I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
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