Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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