Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize