She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
