naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
