Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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