vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
