My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
