My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
