Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
