I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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