Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
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