You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
