I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Michael Bay diarrhea
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize