Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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