it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
our cab driver is having phone sex.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
