if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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