I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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