Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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