from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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