the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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