Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
