Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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