Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
