Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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