Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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