Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
