my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
