my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
She tied me up with her honor cords...
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
We had sex on a dog bed..
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
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