Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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