giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
