Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
We need to rekindle our bromance
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Randomize
