I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
