A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Randomize
