I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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