Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
