Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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