you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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