Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
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