Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
