Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize