dude i'm inner monologue high
my vag is so smooth its legendary
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Hippo gnu deer
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Randomize
