Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
