Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Randomize
