There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
